This article first appeared in the Miami Herald in collaboration with the Lee Caplin School of Journalism and Media.
It’s 11 in the morning when Michelle Stedman scrounges around for $1.25 to purchase a gift bag at a Dollar Tree in Florida City. Her 5-year-old autistic son Tristan is on her hip. In front of her, a cashier rings up another customer.
As the store conversations and beeping noises reach crescendo, Tristan begins to wriggle, then panics and attempts to jolt out of his mother’s arms. Her wallet and the birthday bag tumble to the ground.
“A lot of people look at us like, ‘Oh you’re doing a great job,’ but they don’t see behind the scenes,” says Stedman, after recovering from the chaotic moment. “If Tristan’s father is at work and I’m by myself, I can’t even get out of the car to use the bathroom.”
Therapist Joanne Figueira works with the family at ACE Academy in Homestead, where the boy attends school.
She hopes Wish Book can bring the family stability by helping them obtain clothing and educational toys, communication devices that could improve Tristan’s speech, and most importantly, a more permanent home.
“It’s a situation you could never imagine yourself in,” Figueira said. “I think it’s sad.”
After losing her home to Hurricane Katrina, in 2005, Michelle moved from the Florida Keys to Homestead. In 2009, Stedman was working as a manager for Arby’s when Tristan Royal Sr. walked into the place with friends, who introduced them. Soon they bonded — both suffered from anxiety. They quickly grew close and realized they were a good fit for each other.
After trying to get pregnant for a time, the couple found out that Michelle was expecting on Valentine’s Day. They began preparing for their new arrival. But then came a nightmare.
“At four months of pregnancy, we found out the baby had no heartbeat,” Michelle explains.
Soon Michelle was pregnant again, but didn’t know it. One day she didn’t feel well and discovered she was spotting. Then she began to hemorrhage, losing her eight-week old fetus.
She was rushed to Homestead Hospital where she stayed 33 days and received seven blood transfusions.
Despite this emotional rollercoaster of heartache and hope, the couple never gave up, and in 2019 were blessed with their rainbow baby, Tristan Jr.
But it was a difficult pregnancy.
At 35 weeks, Jackson Memorial Hospital doctors realized the baby was not growing because of the blood flow between her body and his.
“They called me and said ‘You need to have this baby now or he is going to pass,’” she recalls. They recommended a Caesarean birth.
“I was scared dealing with the situation,” Michelle admits. “But I didn’t want to be selfish, so I went through with it.”
Tristan was born with heart disease and cerebral palsy and weighed only three pounds. He spent two months in the neonatal intensive care unit. When they were finally allowed to go home, the mother made the brave decision to get back on the same bus she had arrived on with two bags and a newborn.
“I knew I had to take on this responsibility,” Michelle said. “I gotta do what I gotta do.”
Five months later, the parents noticed the baby didn’t respond to normal gestures or sounds. They knew something was wrong.
It got worse. Communication was nearly impossible, But then she gave him the nickname “Pooper.” When she pronounced it, he would hysterically laugh.
“It was a different feeling,” she recalls. “He finally acknowledged us.”
These days Tristan Jr., 5, studies at ACE Academy in Homestead from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. He eats with other students, but because of his autism and mix of health issues, his food has to be blended and pureed — he can’t chew.
Both Tristan Sr. and Stedman have had to find flexible careers to deal with their child’s scheduling needs. The father is employed by an advertising company and she cleans houses.
“We were [also] selling water on U.S. 1 just to pay for the hotel,” Tristan Sr. said. “It was hard, but we made it work for him.”
“Sometimes we donate plasma just to help with extra costs,” Stedman admitted.
For them, the struggle is part of the story. They find strength in faith and hope.
“I never thought I could accomplish the things I’ve done until I had him,” Stedman says. “If I saw another parent in my situation, I’d think there’s no way. But we do it because we have to.”
What stands out most is their faith. As the mother puts it, “If you feel like you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring.”
Their resilience isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about moving forward.
Even during these hardships, small things — like a mini crockpot, a makeshift garden or a kitten — help the family stay positive.
Stedman has also created a Facebook group, Voices That Just Want to be Heard, to support families and parents with similar struggles.
“It’s not a death sentence,” she says. “It’s not the end of your child’s future.”
The community at ACE Academy along with the Association for Retarded Citizens South Florida, which nominated Tristan for Wish Book, are the reason this family’s story is being heard.
“Max assistance is needed,” said teacher Danna Acevedo. “She’s just trying to survive and do the best for her son.”
